NextGen on Elevate Springfield with Ellie Ferriell: Common Disagreements with Parent and Teen

Summary

In this episode, Ellie and Robert discuss common arguments between teens and parents, focusing on topics such as phone usage at the dinner table, cell phone surveillance, curfews, and dating. They emphasize the importance of communication and understanding each other's perspectives to navigate these discussions effectively.

Takeaways

• It's important to have open conversations about dating.
• Phones at the dinner table can hinder family time.
• Location tracking can be seen as a safety measure.
• Curfews should be flexible based on trust and maturity.
• The age difference in dating should be minimal during teenage years.
• Effective communication can reduce friction in parent-teen relationships.
• Parents should validate their teen's feelings during discussions.
• Understanding each other's viewpoints is crucial for resolution.
• Stricter rules may lead to sneakier behavior from teens.
• Building a respectful relationship fosters better communication.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome to Elevate Springfield, where we will dive into strategies and stories that help you rise to your full potential. Each episode, we'll talk about how you can take intentional steps to elevate your life and your business while making a meaningful impact on those around you. Along the way, we're going to bring in the change makers from our community that are already elevating. We'll bring the actionable strategies, you bring the discipline and follow through, and together, we can elevate Springfield. Alright, let's go, y'all. Time to 10X.

SPEAKER_02 0:35

Hey everyone, welcome to Next Gen on Elevate Springfield. I'm Ellie and I'm here with my dad Robert.

SPEAKER_00 0:40

Together, we're talking about what really matters to teens today. From school and skills to pressure, purpose, and possibilities. We'll share honest conversations, practical strategies teens can actually use, and a little dad-daughter debate.

SPEAKER_02 0:56

This is about listening, learning, and growing. Together, let's elevate the next generation.

SPEAKER_00 1:01

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SPEAKER_03 1:47

Hello and welcome back to another episode of Next Gen on Elevate Springfield. I'm Ellie and I'm here with my dad.

SPEAKER_00 1:53

Hello, Ellie. How are we doing today?

SPEAKER_03 1:56

Good. I think I've said this before, but I I seriously think my voice changes each time I do that intro. Like, and not just like the infliction in my voice, like how I say it, I just literally think that my tone changes each time.

SPEAKER_00 2:07

I mean, eventually you'll have it down pat where it'll just be, it'll come out the same every time, maybe.

SPEAKER_03 2:12

I know. I don't know if I want that though. Like I try and switch up the tone each time, but I switch up the infliction in my voice, but I feel like my tone actually changes in each one.

SPEAKER_00 2:20

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_03 2:21

Put it down in the comments, y'all let me know.

SPEAKER_00 2:23

Do I do that? Do I change my tone or am I pretty standard?

SPEAKER_03 2:26

Well, I I don't think you change your tone anyway. I think you I think you want it to be like the a consistent, like true intro, you know. But your voice definitely doesn't change, no, but I don't think you try and change your tone either.

SPEAKER_00 2:38

I would agree. I would agree. I try to keep a pretty consistent intro and outro one of my things, I guess.

SPEAKER_03 2:46

Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 2:47

So what have we been doing lately? It's a good weekend. Had fun.

SPEAKER_03 2:50

I have coffee again today.

SPEAKER_00 2:52

Yeah. Went and got uh Schließ again. Did you get the same thing as last time?

SPEAKER_03 2:57

Yes, I did. Vanilla, oat milk, 12 ounce.

SPEAKER_00 3:03

There you go. That works. What did we do this weekend? Do we do anything fun? I can't remember.

SPEAKER_03 3:08

Um, we ran errands like that entire day. Uh one day.

SPEAKER_00 3:12

Yeah, we did do that.

SPEAKER_03 3:13

I can't remember what errands, though. We're such interesting people. I know they're like on the edge of their seat trying to listen to what our weekend plans were.

SPEAKER_00 3:22

Oh, yes. Best buy in a couple places, and you guys wanted to go try your hand at a little thrifting. So that's what we did. I remember that.

SPEAKER_03 3:30

We went to Best Buy because I wanted to buy I was in a good money place, so I wanted to buy something that I've been wanting for a while. So I finally bought it.$450 out my pocket, but you know what? That's that's all right.

SPEAKER_00 3:43

You worked hard for it. You had multiple jobs to pay for that thing.

SPEAKER_03 3:47

Right. I feel awkward talking about like money stuff just because like everybody has their own thing, but like then again, I got that money from like three different jobs and I spent it on what I wanted.

SPEAKER_00 3:58

So you worked a lot of a lot of hours to get there. I mean, that's part of it. When you work hard and put in the hours and make some money, you're able to use the fruits of that labor to buy some cool things that you want.

SPEAKER_03 4:12

And I don't think it's like an uncomfortable thing to lay that, yeah, this is how much I spent on this thing. You know, like it was$455.

SPEAKER_00 4:21

No, it's not.

SPEAKER_03 4:22

Ouch. Um, I'm my wallet's kind of crying, but you know what, that's okay.

SPEAKER_00 4:26

It's all right. No, I've been trying out my new uh meta glasses. They're kind of fun.

SPEAKER_03 4:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 4:32

I don't know if I completely love them yet or not, but they kind of do some cool stuff.

unknown 4:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 4:37

He got the new meta glasses and they're like, so you can like take pictures on it.

SPEAKER_00 4:42

I don't really know what else you can do, but you can record video on them and you can take calls. That's the good part about them. I I have liked taking calls from them.

SPEAKER_03 4:51

You can take calls on it? Have you?

SPEAKER_00 4:53

Yeah. It's got the it's got a microphone and the speaker in it, so you can just have your glasses on and take a call. So I've done that multiple times. Well, remember we were out that day walking on that was you, wasn't it, that went with us?

SPEAKER_03 5:03

Yeah. Couldn't remember if that was I thought that was your phone though.

SPEAKER_00 5:06

I couldn't remember if if it was you or Adeline that went with us. I know it was only one of you. Um yeah, it was you. Terrible dad moment there. But yeah, no, I was on my glasses there. And they they do a good job.

SPEAKER_03 5:17

Oh. I thought that was your phone. Like this morning, you're just holding up your phone, but I guess not.

SPEAKER_00 5:20

I was just strolling along.

SPEAKER_03 5:22

You know what? As the host, I'm gonna flip it back on you. Father, what are we talking about today?

SPEAKER_00 5:27

I have no clue. You tell me you're driving the bus here.

SPEAKER_03 5:31

But I'm the host, you know?

SPEAKER_00 5:34

Okay. All right.

SPEAKER_03 5:34

Well, I'm doesn't the host ask the questions?

SPEAKER_00 5:37

Well, I tell you, I'm getting a little uncomfortable. I don't want this to turn into any kind of, you know, strong-willed debate or any kind of fight between dad and daughter. Yeah, I don't want this to turn into an argument, so I'm gonna go ahead and just uh start the show here and not throw it back at you.

SPEAKER_03 5:55

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 5:56

But that's what we're talking about. Common arguments amongst parents and their teens.

SPEAKER_03 6:01

Topics of arguments, I guess. There's those one things that always that are always talked about, like, you know, either in media or in real life, that teens and parents argue about. Like there's always those few things. I don't know. I thought it'd be interesting to talk about some of those and just lead us.

SPEAKER_00 6:20

Lead us off. What's what's the first one?

SPEAKER_03 6:22

Okay, how do we feel about phones at the dinner table?

SPEAKER_00 6:26

Phones at the dinner table.

SPEAKER_03 6:28

I mean, I think for one, it depends what is even happening. I don't know, because it cause there's so many different like phones at the dinner table. Like it's either like you're closed off, you're texting, you're closed off, you're watching a video setup or something like that, or you're scrolling or whatever. Right. Not saying it's a different situation depending on what you're doing, but I don't know. I feel like it is, it doesn't need to be set.

SPEAKER_00 6:49

There's like different things you I think there's yeah, there's different types of phones. There I because and I guess it depends on what you're trying to do with your meal. If you guys, if you're really trying to sit down and say, hey, we haven't seen each other in a while, we're gonna sit down and eat for 30 minutes and have a conversation, then put the phones off to the side, whatever. But if it's just, hey, we're just eating real quick and then we're moving on, it's not like this is set aside family time necessarily, then it's whatever. Have your have your phone, I guess. I think it goes back to the intent of the of the meal. If you're really trying to have some family time, then yeah, scoot them off to the side and have the family time. But if you're just eating for the sake of, you know, gotta get my meal in, then it's whatever.

SPEAKER_03 7:36

I think my opinion is more basic on this. I think like, no, you shouldn't. But then again, I'm I think it's good what you brought up. Like I'm only thinking of if we're all sitting at the dinner table and we're all eating a meal, we're not like rushing off somewhere because that's that's that's that's what our family is a lot of the time. We like for lunch. I I like to watch videos when I eat lunch. But if it's dinner and we're all together and we're like talking and there's things to talk about, I think no. It's like there's no reason to you're eating, just like put it down. Like, especially if you're like like I don't know, just if if your family is right there and you're like, oh, I'm gonna watch a video, it's like no, like, but yeah, I I do. I wasn't even like thinking of that. But yeah, in our family, we're usually like rushing off for not usually for dinner, but for lunch, we're usually rushing. So it's like I think it is ridiculous if you're like absolutely no phones at the dinner table or like or like while you're eating. Most of the time for lunch we eat separately anyway. So like obviously I'll watch something then. But yeah, I'd say basic answer no. It's like there's no need for it. But I think for dinner, no. For lunch, yes. But but again, if all four of us, or at least like all three of us, are like eating at lunch, that's still like a no. I'm just saying no for lunch because it's like lunch is more chill, I feel like, for everybody, but also like we rarely eat lunch together anyway, unless we go out somewhere, we're on vacation or something. We don't really, but fair enough.

SPEAKER_00 9:00

Let's go with the next one being I guess let's call it cell phone surveillance. Let's call it uh tracking where you're at via your cell phone.

SPEAKER_03 9:11

Okay, yeah, we've touched on this.

SPEAKER_00 9:13

Talked a little bit about that before, but it's a good time to bring it up to the phone.

SPEAKER_03 9:16

Specifically location.

SPEAKER_00 9:17

Specif yeah, yeah, specifically location, location tracking.

SPEAKER_03 9:22

For me, see, this is so hard because I feel like in all these podcasts, I'm like, well, me personally, I don't have that problem. So yes, or so no, because I don't have that problem. But yeah, for me, I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 9:34

Well, this is your this is your podcast, so that's it's your it's your your opinion.

SPEAKER_03 9:38

Yeah, I guess. But I don't I don't have anything to hide of where I'm at. Like, I think it's a different thing if it's like looking through text messages or something, because it's like that's extreme. Why do you need to be doing all that? Unless for specific reason, like I'm harboring drugs or something like that. But I think location is like basic.

SPEAKER_00 9:56

Pretty confident she's not harboring drugs, everybody, just so we're clear on that.

SPEAKER_03 10:00

I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 10:02

99.8% confident that that's not occurring.

SPEAKER_03 10:06

So that 2% be strong. Um never know. But I think yes. The only things I can think of is if you're off partying and your parents don't want you out, and then then it becomes a thing. So it's like, you don't need my location, because it's like you don't want them to know you're their like secret boyfriend or something like that. I don't think it's I think it's more of a safety thing. I mean, I definitely know there are some parents that it's like very invasive type behavior behind it because they also do all the other things for like look through your phone, listen to your phone calls, because they go together. But even with the overbearing, low-key, like toxic parent thing of that, I still think that location is pretty basic.

SPEAKER_00 10:45

It's like Yeah, I would agree. To me, it's a it's a safety thing more than uh than a checking up on people thing, really. It's a safety thing.

SPEAKER_03 10:54

And even then, it's like with my location, I still have to text you, text you guys where I'm at. Cause it's like, what if what if I'm like like kidnapped at the location or like my phone's there or something? You still don't know. So I still have to text you guys. But I think it's a very basic thing. I much more understand the argument of the other phone surveillance things rather than location, because it's like it's where you're at. I don't know what else to say about that. I mean, okay, gonna have to figure all that secret boyfriend party stuff out with your parents otherwise. I don't next one.

SPEAKER_00 11:27

What do you got?

SPEAKER_03 11:28

While we're on the topics of like going out, how do we feel about curfews? Which is again another problem I don't have. How do you feel about curfews? What do you think? For certain, like how old your kid is, you think it's that is the factor or what or where you're at is that factor?

SPEAKER_00 11:43

Uh well, yeah, I think it all factors into it.

SPEAKER_03 11:46

So I know some people are like, your curfew is this no matter what, like no matter who you're with, no matter what, like your curfew is this.

SPEAKER_00 11:52

Yeah, no, I mean if if you're at a trusted friend's house and you those are different situations, but there is, there's the old saying that nothing good happens after midnight. There is that old saying, and there is a lot of truth to that. And I can attest to that for some of the stupid things that I did when I was younger that were that were after midnight. I can't say that I would well, let's put it this way anything after midnight that I did was probably not the best thing for me. See, or a stupid maneuver by me.

SPEAKER_03 12:26

I can attest to that in a very, very boring way compared to what you probably were doing. But my thing is that don't trust how you feel about your life after 10 o'clock. Because I spiral into those little like depressive, if you want to call it. I'm not depressed, but it's like, you know, that's just like everything sucks. Spiral thing later. I feel like I feel like that was more of a problem a few like years ago. But don't trust how you feel about your life after 10 o'clock. Because it's like you're fine, just just just do something else.

SPEAKER_00 12:58

I guess the only exception was, you know, I did have friends that we would occasionally back when I was your age or a little bit older, would play video games or something way late into the early morning, and there's there's no harm in that other than you're ruining your sleep. But there's no you know, real or not doing your homework. So with curfews, yes, I think there probably should be something, especially I mean, if you're under 18, there's really no reason for you to be out past midnight.

SPEAKER_03 13:29

You definitely shouldn't have a curfew if you're 18 plus. Well, yeah, of course. That's concerning.

SPEAKER_00 13:33

Right. Well, I guess I'm I guess with there are some that if they're still, you know, kids if they're still living at home, even though they're 18 and still in high school, sometimes parents still want to have a curfew for them. That happens. But especially at like your age, 15, you shouldn't be out super late. There's no reason to be out super late, even at And again, it's weird.

SPEAKER_03 13:54

It's weird too, because it's like, you know, I think 18, I think, you know, you're 18, like you're legal, you're whatever, you can do whatever you want. And then I think of people I actually know who are getting very close to 18. And I'm like, I can actually understand why your parents would still want to be have the same rules now. Right. Cause it's like you're still so young, you know, like even though I'm not trying to say, like, oh, you're 18, you can do whatever you want now. I mean, I'm just saying that if you're still trying to listen to your child's phone calls and text messages when they're 18, that's that type of thing. But it's just like weird to me. But when I actually think of people that age, I'm like, dang, like you're actually, you're literally like me. Like I'm I'm 15, you're 18, what's the difference? Like yeah, right. You know, it's like you're you don't automatically mature 18 or and 19. Like, that's not what I'm trying to say with like that, because I've never thought that like 18 and 19 are like so old, like, oh my gosh, you're yeah, that's not what I'm trying to say. But if you still live at home, then it's like you could be disrupting everybody else or Right, but that is difficult for parents and for young adults when they're gonna be able to do that.

SPEAKER_00 14:57

Like switch to the kind of switch to that, hey, I'm a not really a kid anymore, but I'm still living at your house, and that can be a little a little difficult rules-wise, because the parent still wants to have some rules and the young adult is now like an adult. Now I think I can make my own Yeah. I think I can do everything, you know, make my own decisions here and all that. So that is a difficult thing. Now, yeah. We're not there yet. We will be here in a few years, but I think we'll navigate that just fine.

SPEAKER_03 15:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:28

So don't you think?

SPEAKER_03 15:29

Yeah. I can finally get TikTok.

SPEAKER_00 15:32

Yeah, probably probably allow that, right?

SPEAKER_03 15:35

Yeah. I don't want Snapchat, I just want TikTok. Snapchat is like horrendous. I do not want Snapchat. But I think another thing with Snapchat is like you guys have said for years, really, well, just anybody can add you. Like that was like mom's thing and your thing too. It was both you guys. But the thing is, it's just like Instagram where they can add you, they can request to follow you or request to add you, but you have to add them back to be friends on there and follow each other on there. Like they somebody can't just like grab you and be like, okay, now we're friends, followers now, or whatever. They request you. It's the same thing. Yeah. But I think there was that whole stigma going around where like, oh my gosh, everybody, anybody can just add you on Snapchat. And then it was just this like, like, that's just not that's just not true, but it's the same thing as any other social media app.

SPEAKER_00 16:23

Yeah, so curfews probably should. And it should be earlier based on your age, I guess. The older you get, maybe you have a little more leash. But what's next? What do you got next?

SPEAKER_03 16:33

How about dating? For the first thing, when do you think your kid should be dating or start dating?

SPEAKER_00 16:42

When you say dating.

SPEAKER_03 16:43

We've we've never actually had this conversation at all. Like my parents have never once said, like, oh, you're you can't date before this age. Like, this is your age, you get to start dating.

SPEAKER_00 16:52

No, we never have, have we?

SPEAKER_03 16:54

Like they've never really said anything about that, which I'm kind of grateful for. I don't know. I mean, I don't get any I don't get any people anyway, so it doesn't really matter. But oh no, I think it's just a thing where it's like, you know, you don't feel like restricted. The stricter the parent, the sneakier the kid's gonna be. I don't I think people don't realize that. Like the more strict you're gonna be, the worse your child is gonna sneak around. But it's so funny because my some of my people that I know, they're not allowed to date until this certain age, but they get way more talking stages in dating than I ever have. And I'm like, what you're basically dating at this point, but I don't I digress.

SPEAKER_00 17:31

Well, I mean, yeah, we haven't really had a full-on long conversation.

SPEAKER_03 17:34

And I don't think it's really needed either. I think it depends on the kid, and I don't think it's needed that it's a set rule.

SPEAKER_00 17:40

It needs to be a baseline for this or else there's a set rule for anybody, and I think there's levels of it too. So, you know, at one point you might, yeah, go to be talking to somebody, and then another point, hey, you might go to a movie, and depending on the age, the parents might even be there or something. But if they're younger or the first date, you don't want to, as a parent, say, Okay, you're dating somebody that has their own car, I'll see you in five hours, you go do whatever go do whatever you want, and we'll see.

SPEAKER_03 18:09

Yeah, and I think that's also kind of like a separate like obviously we touched on this too, but I think it's like that's like a separate conversation too, where it's like, okay, the parent needs to like kind of know or at least have met the person that you're gonna do. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 18:20

And that's what I'm talking about with with levels. It's like, do you know the person? Have they have you been around them? Have you done like a dinner at the house before to kind of meet and do whatever? Have you have you been talking to this boy for months? And now it's just kind of fine.

SPEAKER_03 18:36

See, and I feel like that would be more acceptable if they're like, you know, if the parrot is like, okay, well, I want to get together with this family, like go out to dinner or something like that, like all of us, we can all meet, mingle, hang out, and then you guys can go on.

SPEAKER_00 18:50

Yeah, and that happens. You know, that's what I meant by the by like. So it's like you know the family. They go out to go out to dinner with the families, go to a movie, and then the next time, hey, maybe that's you go out on your date or whatever.

SPEAKER_03 19:01

You know, I guess I'm not really thinking of like the tears, I guess. I'm just thinking it's like the general, like, are you allowed to have a boyfriend or a girlfriend? Like, like at 12, are you allowed to have somebody that you're calling, your boyfriend that you hang out with and like hold hands or something like that, you know? Cause like some parents are like really like, no, like absolutely not. And then others are like, What I don't know what you're doing, uh whatever. Because like they're usually really strict on like the no boyfriend, girlfriend stuff.

SPEAKER_00 19:26

Like No, I think it's a conversation that the kid and the parent needs to have. Because that, like I said, there is no hard and fast rule. And if I've been around high school students my entire adult career for a good portion of it, even if their parents say they can't date, that doesn't mean that they're not dating. And that doesn't mean that they're not having conversations. Oh, yeah. So I think the important part, like the relationship like between you and I, yeah, how you would talk to me about that type of stuff, and so that and then talk to each other about next steps instead of me saying, No, you're 15, you're not dating until you're 17, and that's just the way it is. So you're just don't even, don't even try. That's the way it's gonna be.

SPEAKER_03 20:12

And like, and I understand where they're coming, like what they're coming from in their brain, because they're like, it's not gonna last anyway. There's no point. You guys can't even like you can barely drive yet. Like there, you can't even really go like that sort of thing. But it's just it feels very restricting because everybody else can, I can't. You're not giving me any say, you're not allowing me to speak my mind, Donna. You get mad at me. And I think the thing that you just mentioned too, that's what I was trying to get at. Some of the dumbest things I've ever experienced, respectfully, like people will be like, Oh yeah, I'm not allowed to date. And then they'll have a boyfriend or they'll be like, Oh yeah, well, well, we're technically talking, but we're not allowed to date, so we just call it talking.

SPEAKER_00 20:51

And I'm like, And that's more often than not, that's what's happening.

SPEAKER_03 20:54

I'm like, that is that is the same thing. That is the same thing. Are you like, and and the parent is fine with it too. This is the most confusing thing ever because you just said that they can't date, but yet they can talk, so they can hang out alone, they can do all this or whatever. You just can't call them boyfriend, girlfriend. And I'm like, what's the point?

SPEAKER_00 21:14

Like, that's not even what like what well, and you and I have all have always had a good relationship to where we're we talk about things and we can have those conversations. Maybe not every kid and parent have that type of relationship where they're comfortable talking about those type of things, but we've always had that. I don't see that changing, right?

SPEAKER_03 21:35

Yeah. And I don't want anybody to feel like, well, that's not gonna work for me because you know, you guys have a good relationship. Well, I don't, so what else do what do I do now? Like that's why we beef so much because it's like, well, I I don't I don't have that relationship. I can't talk. Like that's because I feel like that's what we do say a lot. So I feel like the point of us talking about this is also for the parents if they're listening in on this too, it's just to get each side of the coin so then you guys can understand each other better.

SPEAKER_00 22:00

Right. Yeah, I agree. Because because that's the whole thing with that relationship. You have to understand my point of view on it. I have to understand your point of view on that thing. And then we kind of come to a And respect is a big thing too.

SPEAKER_03 22:12

You have to be able to respect the other person in it as well. I feel like parents also will be like, Yeah, I I get it, but still, I mean, they're very hard about it and they still have that whole energy around it and it's just not respectful at all. And then you expect the child to be respectful about it, and it's just like this whole thing. But while we're on the topic of dating, how about I don't know how to word this question, but how old should you be dating? Like how old should my boyfriend be? Or how or if Adlen was allowed to date, how old would her boyfriend be? How old is too old? Because I feel like that's also another thing in high school and middle school where it's like this person's dating this person, they're like this much older, and it's like, whoa, or but that's like, well, it's not actually that much, but it's like whatever.

SPEAKER_00 22:53

So while you're while you're a teenager, yes, if you're dating, you should be somewhat close to your same age. It shouldn't be like a five-year age difference, you know. That's no, no.

SPEAKER_03 23:07

So really it all boils down to like the maturity difference, too. It does. That's when like a year can mean so much.

SPEAKER_00 23:14

Yeah, a year is big from freshman year to sophomore year, that's huge. From sophomore year to junior year.

SPEAKER_03 23:19

Like I've changed so much within the past few years, and each year I'm not the same person.

SPEAKER_00 23:23

So it's like so that's that's really probably what it should be. When you're in that that middle teen years, you know, still in high school and such, maybe within a year to two years would be probably the the upper limit, I would think. Because I mean, you just look at that, you'd be 15 and somebody else is 17 about to graduate, and like Yeah. That's that's a little that's that's getting a little old.

SPEAKER_03 23:51

But it's like then again, it's like it's only like even though you're not, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 23:54

I mean, like I said, I've been around high school kids.

SPEAKER_03 23:56

It's only like two years, not that big. So it's like it's not bad, but again, it just feels weird because you're graduating, like you said, I'm still here. Like, I had one guy like me, and we were kind of in that same boat. Like I was 14 and he was 16, and he didn't even like he knew my age, but it's like it wasn't like really in his brain much at all. I think we were talking one day, like through text, and he was like, When are you like driving? Have you drive driven or whatever? And I was like, I'm 14, I got a why, I got a ways to go. And he was like, Oh yeah, you do. And I was like, See, that's just like awkward because it's like you're driving and you think I'm driving, but I'm not because I'm still infant freshman, freshman.

SPEAKER_00 24:34

And then that's I mean, because later on, like 21 and 19 is not that big of a deal. 23 and 21 is not a big deal. 25 and 23 isn't no big deal at all.

SPEAKER_03 24:45

Yeah, exactly. But when you're yeah, you gotta get to that.

SPEAKER_00 24:48

Yeah, you gotta get up over that 18, get up, get out of high school, then it's it's completely different.

SPEAKER_03 24:54

So I feel like it starts not being weird when you're like 19. 19 is the younger one, I think. Only speaking in like three year old.

SPEAKER_00 25:04

Yeah, because yeah, because you're 19, you're definitely out of high school at that point. You're either working or going to college or something. It's yeah, it's much different, much different scenario.

SPEAKER_03 25:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 25:15

So I guess that would be my answer there.

SPEAKER_03 25:17

Yeah. In high school, I'd say like two years.

SPEAKER_00 25:22

So all these things that we've talked about, potential friction points or potential arguments between a parent and their teen. As the teen in the conversation, how do you how do you prefer the parent, or what are some ways that parents can have those conversations easier and be able to do that with their child?

SPEAKER_03 25:45

I think number one, actually spend time on the teens argument. Because it's like you can think like, yeah, I understand where they're coming from. Like I understand, they're just not understanding me. And like I feel like that's where a lot of it comes from because you're not fully expressing that you understand it. Like when I'm talking to people, I really try and like spend a lot of time on what they're saying before I jump in with something about me because I want to make you feel heard and valued and validated. So we are going to talk about you and I'm gonna try and not say anything about me while we're talking about this. I feel like if you spend time on the teen's point respectfully and validating them and talking about how you're like, yeah, I understand that. Yeah, I totally understand why you like want that. I think that'll make it easier and you respectfully saying your point. Cause I think a lot people are just like, well, that's my thing. Oh well, suck it up. Like, you need to thoroughly explain why the reason. Cause I know a lot of parents don't do that either. They don't say a reason at all for why they're saying something. Thoroughly explain your point of view too. Cause I think there's too much of they already know why I think that. It's like common sense. Well, they already know. Well, it's like explaining your point respectfully and explaining why you think something goes a long way too. Because you're valuing their opinion too, and you are respectfully explaining why you think this way. It's not that hard, just communicate efficiently, and there wouldn't be as much pushback on either end. Cause I feel like a lot of the time the teens to try and explain their point, and then the parents just like, well, that like just isn't having it. So it's like you both have to be able to understand the other perspective and take time on the other ones and make sure that you let it be known that you do get it, like you do understand, and maybe you can come up with a compromise in there somewhere.

SPEAKER_00 27:38

But love it. But I have a question for you communicate.

SPEAKER_03 27:41

Would you let Adeline date right now?

SPEAKER_00 27:43

I don't think there's any reason she should be dating at twelve.

SPEAKER_03 27:46

So that's so that's one of your answers because you never really fully answered like what age would what age would you want your kids to be dating?

SPEAKER_00 27:54

Right. Yeah. At that age, sometimes sometimes kids say their boyfriend and girlfriend when they're 11 or 12, but all it really means is they they talk every once in a while or they held hands one time. I mean, it is what it is. There doesn't need to be any true like going out dating at 12 years old, I don't believe.

SPEAKER_03 28:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 28:15

So no. What about me? You could. Yeah. I'd say there's if I ever like get anybody ever.

SPEAKER_03 28:22

You won't have to worry about that.

SPEAKER_00 28:23

Again, there's levels of it, and we're gonna talk about it.

SPEAKER_03 28:26

I don't get any of it. We're not nobody likes me.

SPEAKER_00 28:28

Oh, everybody loves you, especially me.

SPEAKER_03 28:30

So now we're my dad, though, so you're kind of obligated to.

SPEAKER_00 28:34

Yeah, there's a lot of dads out there that might not love their kids as much.

SPEAKER_03 28:39

You just express it really well.

SPEAKER_00 28:40

Well, thank you. Well, we're not experts in this by any means, but we're not any experience.

SPEAKER_03 28:47

We certainly can't tell I'm painfully single, guys.

SPEAKER_00 28:50

We certainly communicate well with each other and we have these conversations. And hopefully, if the one thing you could take from this episode is maybe have more of those conversations, like Ellie just said, and really try to listen to the other person, figure out their point of view, explain your point of view well, and then hopefully those friction points or those arguments don't happen, don't happen as often, and don't get as heated. How about that?

SPEAKER_03 29:15

Yeah, I just hope that what you take from this isn't like, and from like all of our podcasts, like all of our talks like this, isn't like, oh, well, they have a good relationship, so well, this isn't gonna work for me. Like, you know, like I th I personally think that as like the opposing argument, like anytime we're talking, because it's like, well, we personally don't have this problem, but I mean, sucks if you do. Like, obviously, that's not what we're saying, but that's what it can sound like. But I just hope what you take from it is like, you know, we're two people that get it and we get where you're at, and we're able to communicate it. So we're trying to help you guys communicate it too. Like we're your little like communicator birdies or whatever. Fairies, no fairies. I like fairies better.

SPEAKER_00 29:54

Communicator fairies?

SPEAKER_03 29:55

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 29:56

We'll take that.

unknown 29:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 29:57

There you go. So Schlee's almost gone.

SPEAKER_03 30:00

No. No. I'm a sipper, not a chugger.

SPEAKER_00 30:02

You are, I'm a lover, not a fighter. Mine's all gone.

SPEAKER_03 30:05

Okay, I'm a fighter sometimes, though.

SPEAKER_00 30:06

I'm gonna need yeah, you can be. So I'm gonna need a refill. You ready to go make an argument? No, I don't think so. I don't think so. Well, you ready to go uh make some money so you can recoup some of that purchase you just made?

SPEAKER_03 30:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 30:21

You can go do that.

SPEAKER_03 30:22

Can but I have one question. Can I be like a sparkly pink communicator fairy?

SPEAKER_00 30:26

Yeah. I don't know. What would I look like?

SPEAKER_03 30:29

I'm thinking of like myself just shrunk and like I have like a big head, you know? Okay. With wings, like a fairy.

SPEAKER_00 30:37

Okay. So it's so it's literally just me, like me, but like tiny with big wings. Can they be 10X wings?

SPEAKER_03 30:44

Not big wings. You'd probably just have like tiny little like shrimpy, like clear wings. I'd have huge, lustrous, pink, translucent pink, glittery wings.

SPEAKER_00 30:53

Can mine say 10x or elevate Springfield or something?

SPEAKER_03 30:56

I suppose I'll have to. I guess. You're not gonna have much room on your wings though. You don't really work out your wings very much.

SPEAKER_00 31:04

I do not. That's the muscle I need to work out more. Maybe I'll do that while you're working. What do you think? Well, I'm hungry. I'm going to eat dinner today.

SPEAKER_03 31:11

Well, thank you for joining us on another episode of Next Gen on Elevate Springfield. We'll see you next time.

SPEAKER_00 31:17

See ya. Looking for personalized insurance with hometown care, David Hilst, American Family Insurance Agent, is here to help you protect what matters most: your family, your home, and your dreams. Whether it's auto, home, life, business, David and his team are proud to serve the Springfield community with trusted advice and reliable coverage. Local service, real relationships, peace of mind. Call today or stop by their office. They can build your dream protection plan together. Call 217-726-6343. Well, thank you for joining us today, everybody. Appreciate you making us a part of your day. Hey, don't forget while you're out on social, check ours out. You can check my personal one out at RobertFarrell at everywhere. Check out those Elevate Springfield pages, those big dog business coaching pages as well. Check us out over on YouTube. Give us a subscribe, give us a like or a follow on any of those channels. We would certainly appreciate it. So hey, take what you learned today. You bring the discipline and follow through and together. That's right, y'all. We're gonna elevate Springfield. Be great.

SPEAKER_01 32:31

When I first walked into Shudokong Karate Club, I was just looking for a way to get stronger. But what I found was so much more. Here we train in traditional karate, the real stuff. Passed down through generations. Every punch, every kata has purpose. I've learned self discipline, confidence, and how to protect myself. Not just in class, but in real life. It's not about being aggressive, it's about being prepared. This is more than a club, it's a way of life. Join us at Studocon. Traditional, powerful, real. TI