Separation Saturdays on Elevate Springfield

Summary

Robert Ferriell and Chris Hartsook explore the seven types of people who can negatively impact your life and business. They discuss how to identify these individuals and set boundaries to protect your energy and growth.

Takeaways

• Seven personality types that can harm your life or business
• Signs of manipulative, victim, boundary violator, jealous, emotional landmine, energy vampire, and one-way street individuals
• Strategies for setting boundaries and protecting your energy
• The impact of toxic people on emotional and mental health
• How to identify and remove toxic influences from your life and business

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Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:00

Welcome to Elevate Springfield, where we will dive into strategies and stories that help you rise to your full potential. Each episode, we'll talk about how you can take intentional steps to elevate your life and your business while making a meaningful impact on those around you. Along the way, we're gonna bring in the change makers from our community that are already elevating. We'll bring the actionable strategies, you bring the discipline and follow through, and together we can elevate Springfield. Alright, let's go, Springfield. Time to 10X your day, 10X your life, and all of us. 10X Springfield. Hey, you are listening to the Elevate Springfield podcast. Robert Farrell here, certified 10X coach, speaker, and mentor, here to bring you actionable strategies. You bring the discipline and follow through. And together, we're gonna Elevate Springfield. We are coming to you from the big dog construction studio in beautiful downtown Springfield. You are listening to Separation Saturdays on Elevate Springfield, where you can separate yourself from the competition every Saturday morning now. We are every day with Elevate Springfield now, so you can start your morning every morning with a new drop from Elevate Springfield. And we are looking forward to having you. And we are thankful that you chose to listen to us. We're gonna get started after the break. Hey, Springfield, when it comes to reliable, high-quality roofing, you don't want to leave things to chance. That's why you should reach out to Acosta Angeli Ruffing, your local roughing expert serving Springfield and surrounding communities, from quick dependable repairs to full replacement, from residential to commercial. They are your trusted pros. Call them today at 217-993-2748 or visit their website to book your free quote and inspection. Don't wait. A little leak now could lead to major damage later. Trust the local experts, protect your home, and get peace of mind with Acosta Angeli Roofing. Alright, and we are back. Hey, it was another great week on Elevate Springfield. We started out like we always do with your weekly battle plan. Then on Monday, we had Dr. Daryl Allen. He came back later in the week with Dr. Sammy, but we learned all about Dr. Allen on Monday. Then on Tuesday, my younger daughter, Addy, had her debut on Elevate Springfield on our next gen segment with Ellie. On Wednesday for Communities Grow Together, we had Karen Gedros from the United Way talking about their new Alice Emergency Fund. Then on Thursday, we brought in Brandy and Jay Fletcher from Bees Creative Studio. Great talk with them about how they started and grew their business. And then on Friday, Dr. Sammy came back. Hadn't had her in for quite a while. It was good to have her back in the studio. Her and Dr. Allen talked about chiropractic myths. So hey, if you missed any of this week's episodes, make sure you go back and check those out. Phenomenal stuff this week, just like every week. We also had our Elevate Springfield Insider on Thursday at 11 via Zoom. That's a program you could participate in if you would like. That's every second and fourth Thursday of the month, 11 o'clock via Zoom. Gives you the opportunity to go a little bit deeper with our podcast guests, get trained by the experts in their area of expertise and allows you to get your questions answered as well. This week, Chris Hartsook joined us. We talked all about the seven types of people that could destroy your life or business. So what we want to do today for our separation Saturdays, you're here for the training, right? Here to separate yourself from the competition. So I'm going to give you a little excerpt from this week's Elevate Springfield Insider. If you want to hear that full episode, get the replay and get all the replays of the insider program. Head on over to bigdogpc.com slash elevate to get signed up. So much great content there in the portal. And you could join us live on the second Thursday of the month. So let's get right to Chris. All right, everybody, I'm going to welcome to the insider, Mr. Chris Hartsuck, owner of Big Dog Construction, Big Dog Coaching Corporation, and 10X Performance Coach for Grant Cardone himself. So hey, welcome to the insider again, Chris. Happy to have you back.

SPEAKER_00 4:53

Hey, I am glad to be here, Robert. I cannot wait to share the nuggets we've got to drop today with all the listeners and followers. Yes, indeed. Well, let's get into it, Chris. What are we talking about today? We are talking about seven types of people who can destroy your life or business. And uh you're gonna be surprised about what type of people they are, and and you're gonna start to think, do I have them in my life right now or my business? So that's what we're gonna chat about today.

SPEAKER_02 5:18

All right. Well, let's go. Seven types of people. And I'm sure once you start going through these, they'll start becoming apparent that, hey, we've probably had a lot of these in our lives and in our businesses at one point or another.

SPEAKER_00 5:28

Very much so. Very much so. Yeah. And you're gonna see there uh the image that I'm sharing, it identifies the seven personality types that can be difficult or unhealthy to have in your life or business. While these aren't formal psychological diagnoses, they are useful descriptions of common behavior patterns, though. And uh once we start going through them, you will probably identify a lot of them of people around you. Number one, dead center of there, right? That is the chronic manipulator. A chronic manipulator consistently tries to control people or situations for their own benefit. They often use guilt, deception, flattery, fear, or emotional pressure instead of honest communication. Robert, you ever had anybody around like that? I've had some family members like that, Chris. Nobody. So while some common signs, if you're unfamiliar with if you have a chronic manipulator or not around you, common signs to look for is they twist the facts to benefit themselves, makes you feel guilty for saying no to them, uses your emotions against you, rarely accepts responsibility for bad stuff, right? If it's good, they're gonna take it on. Oh, yeah, I did that, even though they didn't, right? Makes you question your own judgment. And the impact that they can have is you begin doubting yourself, you lose confidence, and make decisions based on their agenda instead of your own. So see if you can identify any chronic manipulators in your in your realm, right? Around you or your business. Hey, the second one we've got, it is the permanent victim, right? A permanent victim believes life is always happening to them, regardless of circumstances. They rarely take responsibility and consistently blame other people for the situations. It's just nonstop the permanent victim. And I know I'm I've got a few permanent victims around us, Robert, for sure. For sure. You know, common signs that to identify a permanent victim is nothing is ever their fault. Every conversation turns into their latest hardship, what's going on with their health, what's going on with their husband, spouse, whatever it is, right? Or work member. It just always they always reject solutions while asking for sympathy. We could hand them the answer to their current hardship on a silver platter, spoon feed it to them, and they're they really just want sympathy, right? Permanent victory. Woe is me. And they also believe everyone else has it easier than they do, that their life is so hard, and they're constantly making excuses instead of making changes. Right. And the impact that they they have on us is you may become emotionally exhausted just trying to rescue someone who doesn't want to change. And they are just constantly, constantly whining and crying and just like, oh my gosh, come on, let's let's not do this anymore, right?

SPEAKER_02 8:17

So for guys like us that are, you know, 10x mindset methods, right? This is so antithetical to what we want in our lives and what we want around us. We've talked multiple times on the show. We've talked multiple times personally together. Yes. We wear them every day. No negativity allowed in the permanent is the one that always brings that negativity.

SPEAKER_00 8:39

Always. And negativity breeds negativity, and that's the crazy thing about that.

SPEAKER_02 8:44

So we had a podcast guest uh here just this past week said something very similar. He said, you know, have you ever been around that person that just everything seems to go sideways for them? And everything is negative. But once you take that, you flip that and take that first positive step and start looking at the positive side of things, and that can just continue to grow and grow and grow and eventually get rid of that negativity.

SPEAKER_00 9:09

Exactly. Exactly. And that's where that that permanent victim, it just it just sucks you down. It's terrible. We also then run into the the boundary violator, and that boundary violator ignores or disrespects your personal, emotional, financial, or physical limits, right? So it is it literally what it sounds in the name, the title, boundary. Boundaries are set for a reason, right? And this is a violator. And the way to identify them is it doesn't accept no, as in like, no, I'm busy right now, I'm in the middle of something. Boom. They don't care, they're still coming in, right? They also will invade your privacy, right? Maybe maybe you're trying to use the bathroom and they're hey, hey, hey, you got an answer to this? Hey, hey, I really need, you know, it's like, guys, come on, let me use the bathroom in piece here, right? There's other ways to invade privacy, but I figure I'd just go straight to the bathroom, right? That's right. That's right.

SPEAKER_02 10:00

Well, and I think that one, that one, especially too, in a in a workplace setting, it's that time boundary that's oftentimes overstepped, you know, where they'll come in and they'll want to be in your office for an hour and a half talking about whatever when we've we've got targets to hit.

SPEAKER_01 10:16

We've got stuff we need to do, but we're sitting here, you're sitting here for an hour and a half talking about whatever.

SPEAKER_00 10:20

The time sucker, definitely the time sucker on that, right? And they also expect immediate responses. Or borrows money or belongings without respect or asking. It's like, whoa, you know, I probably would have if you'd asked, but if you don't ask and you just do and take, then that's that's different, right? Or pushes you into things you've already declined. It's like, look, I said my piece, we're not doing this for this reason. I set a boundary, a precedence of why we're not doing that, and here we are. So, and the impact that the boundary violator can have on you is over time you lose your sense of control, independence, or personal peace, right? Because it's like they're constantly there in your space, right? So boundary, boundary violators, just get respect them, right? Just straight up respect them on that.

SPEAKER_02 11:06

And how over over the years, Chris, how have you set up some of those boundaries with your employees? How has that worked for you and your company?

SPEAKER_00 11:14

Well, with my team members, I always tell them like, look, it's an open door policy. You can come chat with me anytime you want about anything. So I kind of open up the boundaries loosely, but they do know don't steal time from me, which stealing time from me would be purposely slowing down on a job, showing up late, but clocking in early. Right. That makes sense. Um, because they clock in on their phones. Um, most companies do that now. Don't steal money from me. I'll give you the shirt off my back or my last dollar I have if you ask me, but just don't take it from me. And so that's kind of the boundaries I have. They're pretty close to me. They're not like, hey, if you stop across you step across that line that's 500 feet out there, I'm gonna smack you down. It's not that. But yeah, that's that's kind of my boundaries. And and I've had a few instances where I've had some team members that have crossed those boundaries stealing time from me, stealing money from me, or stealing tools from me, or trying to steal clients from me to do sidework. No, respect is key in setting up and respecting those boundaries that are there. So, yep. And that that leads us to number four on here. That is the jealous advisor. A jealous advisor appears supportive, but secretly discourages your growth because they feel threatened by your success. This guy actually could be a competitor in your in your space, uh, another competing business. They could be a jealous advisor, but yet you're at the chamber meetings with them or local first events with them or any other event that they're like, oh, hey, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, they're great, great what you're doing out there. But then they're going around in another circle saying, Oh, can you believe what they're doing over there? Oh my gosh, it's terrible, right? Yeah. Common signs of the jealous advisor is they'll give advice that keeps you playing small. Hmm. We're in 10x mode here, right? We don't play small. We go for big, massive action. They'll also downplay your achievements, points out the reason your ideas won't work, trying to shoot holes in your in your success. And they'll celebrate your failures more than your wins because they're like, haha, I told you so. See, I knew it wouldn't work. They'll also make subtle comparisons to themselves. They're just jealous. Yeah, I did that a year ago, or I achieved that milestone a year ago. Celebrate the wins. And if you continually follow their advice, you may miss opportunities and never realize your full potential because they're giving advice to keep you small. Right. And you don't want to do that. So yeah, definitely keep those jealous advisories out of there for sure. And number five, that lines us up with the emotional landmine. It the the name kind of gives it away, right? An emotional landmine reacts unpredictably or explosively to minor issues, making others feel like they're constantly walking on eggshells around them. You ever had that, Robert? You ever had someone, you're like, you just don't want to say a word to them. But if you don't say a word, then they're like, Why aren't you talking to me? Or if you say something to them, then like, why are you talking to me? Right. Had folks on the personal side and professional side like that. Absolutely. Definitely, definitely. And signs of the emotional landmine is they'll overreact to small disagreements. Mood changes without warning, easily offended, holds grudges for a long time, uses anger or silent treatment to control situations, not the old silent treatment. I've been there, done that over it. I just assume talk it out and let's move on, right? Yeah. And the impact that the emotional landmine personality can have on you is you begin censoring yourself and living in fear of triggering another emotional explosion. And so now you're not freely wanting to say what you need to say, or you're constantly going, are they in the room, or should I watch what I'm saying here? But as 10Xers, we always are cognitive of the people around us and we try not to be offensive of what we're saying, but yet we should be able to speak freely and not be triggered with that because you could have a jealous advisor who's an emotional landmine, right? You could say, you could say a win that makes them blow up, you know. Well, I tried that and that just didn't work, which then they kind of pull into the being a permanent victim. So, and we'll kind of wrap up a final bow on that when we get to it of how you can have multiple types of people in one person. And that you're really then dealing with stuff that's scary when you're talking about that. Right. Uh for sure. For sure on that. That was the emotional landmine. Now we're talking about the energy vampires, right? Sucking that energy from you. That's right. Man, that the energy vampire is consistently drains your emotional, mental, and or physical energy through negativity, constant crisis or endless demands, right? Like you were talking about earlier. They come out, sit down your office for an hour and a half just to talk nothing. They're sucking your time. Every interaction feels exhausting, constant complaining with few solutions, always in crisis mode. Conversations revolve around them. And you feel relieved when they leave. You shouldn't feel relieved when somebody, it's, I guess it's like the in-laws. Oh my gosh, I'm glad they're gone. Right. We won't tell Courtney, Robert. We won't tell you. But uh, like you talked about, they are draining not just your time, but they're driving draining your emotion, your mental stability, your physical energy, and that negativity will bring you down. It will, it will drain you. You've talked before about your emotional bank account, right? Yeah. Yeah. My emotion, my emotional bank account has been drained before, overdrawn constantly. You know, people don't realize that. Uh Stephen Covey is actually the one that that talks about the emotional bank account. And it's kind of you gotta make, you gotta make draws and deposits on your emotional bank account all the time, right? And everyone is doing that, whether it's on a professional uh basis or a personal basis. But if your emotional bank account is overdrawn, then you have been around an energy vampire for sure. And they consume your time, motivation, and emotional capacity, leaving less energy for your own goals and relationships. Because I don't know about you, like losing a loved one, right? It's it's just emotionally taxing. And what happens is, you know, you don't want to get out of bed the next morning because you're just emotionally drained. Well, if you're around energy vampires all the time, that's what's gonna happen with you for sure on that, right? And the seventh type of person who can destroy your life or business is the one-way street person. They're the ones that expect support, time, and effort from you, but rarely sends it back to you. There's no reciprocity there with them. It's just a one-way street. Give me, give me, give me, give me, give me. I'm gonna take, take, take, take. Calls only when they need something, rarely ask how you're doing, or if you need something, doesn't celebrate your successes, and they expect favors, but don't return them. And the relationship feels constantly unbalanced or the one-sided, where you're constantly giving to them and they're constantly taking, but you never get anything in return. And they would be huge draw on your emotional banking account doing that. And the relationship becomes emotionally and mentally draining because you're doing all the giving while receiving very little in return. So the one-way street person can be very damaging to you, for sure. And so a final thought on these seven types of people who can store your life is most people may occasionally display one or more of these behaviors during stressful periods. The real concern is when these patterns are consistent, persistent, and resistant to change, especially if they leave you feeling controlled, exhausted, or diminished. Healthy relationships are generally characterized by mutual respect, honest communication, personal accountability, respect for boundaries, support for each other's growth, balanced giving and receiving. That's so key on that. So when someone repeatedly undermines these qualities, it may be worth reevaluating the role they play in your life and business and establishing healthier boundaries, whether it be, hey, I don't have time for this anymore, or literally just calling them out on the rug saying you are negative. Right. And hey, no negativity allowed today. Not happening around here. Not happening. Put up the 10X shield. We're out of here, right? So I just wanted to share those seven types of people who can destroy your life. Because whether you're starting up a business, like if you're a solopreneur right now and you're looking to become an entrepreneur, which means bringing on team members to grow your business, be aware of these seven types of people when you're when you're looking for new hires, right? To expand your team or collaborating with other businesses. Make sure that it's not a one-way street. Make sure you're going to be able to get again, collaboration means working together, exchanging of energy and time and resources back and forth so that you both can win. So that's key on that. Anything else, Robert? Any questions you think on those seven types?

SPEAKER_02 19:55

No, I'm I think this this falls right in line with what we talk a lot about in 10X, about how we need to really curate our people that are close to us, right? Definitely. Sometimes, especially with these types of people here, sometimes we have a tendency as people to, oh, that's that's just Chris, oh, that's just Joe. They they do that, right? That's just who they are, whatever. Right, right. Realizing the effect that it's having you and the impact it's having on your business. So if these behaviors are gonna be persistent and consistent, like you talked about, it's gonna turn into a situation where you need to start trimming those folks out of your life, right?

SPEAKER_00 20:36

Yep. One one thing that people don't realize is that you will actually mimic and start mirroring the core five people you surround yourself with, right? So if you surround yourself with these type of seven people, you will start absorbing their traits and you will start then mirroring those traits and you'll start seeing yourself spiraling out of control, right? Or losing focus on your 10x goals. We talked about the 10x super life. Uh, we talked out in one of the previous Elevate Insiders we did. And if you lose focus, which is number four in the 13 roles of success, focus on your dreams, which on that dreams, goals, targets, you're gonna lose that. So that's that's that's hard. That's hard for people because they don't like to cut people out of their life, right? But the expression of the old ball and chain isn't just about, you know, when they're talking about being married to somebody. You can be married to a friend, right? Meaning that that friendship you have is like a marriage because you're it's a partnership. But if the other one is so negative all the time, it's so hard to keep your positivity up with them. You may be able to take a little bit of time with them, but man, you're if you're around them a long time, you're gonna start draining your energy bad. They're an energy vampire, sucking the life out of you, literally. Yeah, that negativity can be cancerous on you, just eating you. It is eating away at you. It is. And as business owners, so we talked about solarpreneurs become entrepreneurs, but if you are, if you're a successful business right now. But you're not hitting the goals that you are set out to hit. Look with inside your team members. Do you have one of these seven types of people in there? Because, like you said, cancer grows and negativity can, I mean, Brandon Dawson talks about it, right? You've got your bottom few percent that are trying to constantly undermine your business, right? Whether they're time sucking or they're bad mouthing or being lazy or whatever it is, you know, purposely doing bad quality on something so that a client is upset and cost you money. And so check it out because sometimes it's hard to cut people, especially if they've been with you for a while. I've had instances where I've had someone in our organization for a long time, like 10 years, and the cancer just kept getting worse. It kept spreading to other team members. And uh we had to make the decision say, Hey, you gotta go because you're you're actually affecting the life of this business and taking money out of everyone's pocket by the way you're acting. Right, right, absolutely and and and they're not gonna change. I mean, that's the thing. The older someone gets, the more reluctant to change they are. So I hope this helps someone. I hope it resonates with some people too when they listen to this. And and thanks for the ones that are joining us today on this. Yeah, absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 23:13

Thank you, Chris. So much great stuff, as always. And for everybody, as Chris just mentioned, hey, take what you learned today and utilize it in your life, right? Sitting here and listening to this once isn't gonna do anything for you unless you take what you learned and actually take action and do something with it. So Chris, appreciate it as always. If anybody wants to work with us on any of this, hey, what could they where could they go get a hold of you?

SPEAKER_00 23:41

Hey, they can get a hold of us at our website at big dogbc. That's businesscoaching.com, big dogbc.com. Uh, they can reach out to us on Facebook on our big dog business coaching page. They can uh drop into our socials. Uh Chris Hartzug, you know, DM me on Facebook, Instagram, uh, wherever. We've got TikTok pages, Robert. People, people that they all know how to get a hold of you, buddy. You are Mr. Springfield. There we go.

SPEAKER_02 24:07

That's the plan, brother. Yeah, and don't forget everybody out there designing and building mid-Illinois, one home at a time. Yes, our podcast. Mondays and Tuesdays. So make sure you check him out there as well. That's right. I appreciate that. You're absolutely right. So all right, Chris. Well, thank you, and you have the rest good rest of the day, all right? Thanks, sir. Appreciate it. Looking for expert tree care with hometown integrity, look no further than Sangamon Tree Service. They're your trusted local pros, delivering quality workmanship, exceptional customer service, and fair, honest pricing. Every time. Whether it's trimming, removal, or storm cleanup, their team brings professionalism and care to every job, big or small. Call the name your neighbors trust, Sangman Tree Service, or visit them today at SangmanTreeService.com. Sangamon Tree Service, rooted in quality, built on trust. Well, thank you for joining us today, everybody. Appreciate you making us a part of your day. Hey, don't forget while you're out on social, check ours out. You can check my personal one out at RobertFarrell at everywhere. Check out those Elevate Springfield pages, those big dog business coaching pages as well. Check us out over on YouTube. Give us a subscribe, give us a like or a follow on any of those channels. We would certainly appreciate it. So, hey, take what you learned today. You bring the discipline and follow through and together. That's right, y'all. We're gonna elevate Springfield. Be great. Looking for personalized insurance with hometown care, David Hilst, American Family Insurance Agent's here to help you protect what matters most: your family, your home, and your dreams. Whether it's auto, home, life, business, David and his team are proud to serve the Springfield community with trusted advice and reliable coverage. Local service, real relationships, peace of mind. Call today or stop by their office. They can build your dream protection plan together. Call 217 726 6343 8.